Who’s Afraid of Emotions?

Emotions are a new area for me, especially since my brain tumor surgery. Some attribute this to having anesthesia before surgery. I still have suspicions that my daughters convinced the neurosurgeon to flip an emotional switch in my head. Regardless, I am enjoying exploring this area of emotional makeup in a new way.

I grew up in a fairly unemotional home. Neither my father nor mother exhibited open emotions toward us kids. However I did not doubt their love for any of us. In high school and college I had more than one experience of betrayal by close friends that I thought I could trust. As a result, I chose to restrain my emotional life. The navy gave me further opportunity to keep my emotions in check. When a submarine’s safety is at stake, the crew doesn’t need an officer falling apart emotionally. It is a time to keep calm, cool, and collected. One of my favorite programs is NCIS. Leroy Jethro Gibbs is my kind of guy. I don’t approve of his moral character but I like the way he is blunt and to the point to get the job done. He is all business. Don’tworry, I don’t plan to emulate his life. I have someone with a much better handle on what it means to be a real man – Jesus.

I am still learning how emotions can play a balanced role in my life. I am sure I will never be someone who cries at the drop of a hat. But I do hope that I allow emotions to have a much more proper role in my life and relationships. So what am I learning? It seems to me that we too often go two routes: 1) either to suppress emotions or 2) allow emotions to rule. Gibbs (or “boss” as his team on NCIS call him), lost his wife and daughter in a horrible incident. He never talks about them but their impact on his life continues to resurface on occasion. This loss in his life was huge. He chooses to suppress. You can probably pick any number of programs or persons whose emotions dominate who they are and how they make decisions. Somewhere there must be a balance because one thing we can be confident of, God made us with emotions. Why? What is the purpose of God-given emotions? I will not pretend to have the final answer to that question. But what I do have is a perfect model of a perfect human being who exhibited genuine emotions. He is who I look to for a balanced view of emotions.

Jesus wept, exhibited compassion, agonized, expressed anger, loved, and connected emotionally and tenderly with all kinds of people. For those of us, “keep it under control” type of people, this is new territory. One of the gifts to me as I have been recovering here at home was the HBO series, John Adams. I already had David McCullough’s book on John Adams and other historical works by him, so I knew him as an excellent writer and historian. The series is excellent. The extra features are as valuable as the actual historical story. I cried all through it. I cried over tragedy, family loss, historical moments, and especially at the end as President Adams lost family members and his dear Abigail. The loss of Abigail in his life was huge. I sobbed openly. The rekindling of his friendship with Thomas Jefferson brought tears. Emotions are good things, even if it takes great cinematography and acting to bring them out.

Obviously we have had some very emotional times as a family. My family’s expressions of love and concern have easily evoked tears. My thoughts about my church family and that momentous day on September 28 still bring significant emotional impact. Am I still afraid of emotions? I don’t think I have ever been afraid of emotions but now I am much more ready to let emotions be freely expressed. Don’t count on me weeping in the pulpit each Sunday, but I am intrigued with what new dimension this brings to all of my life. As I look at this new wrinkle in my journey, I have been refreshed at looking, in a new way, at Jesus’ expression of emotions.

At the death of Lazarus, Jesus is described as “deeply moved and troubled.” There is debate over the exact nature of these emotions. He could be deeply moved that death is a part of the curse of a fallen world. But he could also be connecting with the human emotional grief of this huge loss to people that He counts as close friends. Those present note His emotional expression as a sign of great love for this family. Emotions bring good connection with those facing tough times.

On a number of occasions, when looking over the gathered crowds, Jesus had compassion for them. Compassion is a very interesting word in the original. It means the inward parts or specifically, the intestines. I can just imagine the conversation between a young couple, “My intestines are being exercised because of you.” Somehow I don’t think this would go over well. But that is exactly what is being expressed by the word compassion. Interesting that in my reading of Dr. Servan-Schreiber’s book, I came across a chapter on “The Anticancer Mind,” where he describes the intestines possessing several million neurons. First century citizens may not have understood this but their neurological signals let them know something was going on in their intestines. Compassion is a way of letting people know we genuinely care.

Jesus got angry over the injustice and economic abuse of His Jewish brethren by the religious leaders. He rebuked the disciples because they just didn’t understand absolute trust in the face of undeniable evidence. Jesus agonized in the Garden over the cup of suffering and separation from the Father. We shouldn’t be surprised then at the broad range of emotions that come our way. We shouldn’t be surprised that our fallen nature brings confusion and imbalance in our handling of emotions. But in spite of our imperfect response to emotiions, we should still learn to enjoy our emotions and learn to let the Spirit of God help us manage them in a biblical fashion.

Dr. David Servan-Schreiber was called upon to intervene in the case of a young man Joe who had a long history of alcoholism and drug abuse. Joe had just received the diagnosis of his brain tumor. He was angry and violent. Dr. D spent time just listening to him and agreed to see him every week. Eventually, Joe regained a sense of purpose and ventured out to help a church with some of its electrical needs. He had a new sense of value and meaning. As he eventually ended up back in the hospital and was near death, Dr. D paid him a visit. In his weakness, Joe said, “God bless you for saving my life.” Amazing, isn’t it, how emotions can make a difference in someone’s life?

It would appear that the Apostle Paul has learned a healthy biblical balance to his emotions.
Philippians 1:7-8 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

Paul connected with the community at Philippi with his heart. His longing for them was shaped by the same affection that Jesus would have for them. Think of it. Jesus has affection for you. This affection is that medical concept of activating your intestional neurons. This is good stuff and it is God-given stuff. It is another part of the journey with which I find myself intrigued. How much more is there to learn? As much as there is infinite majesty in the greatness of God. Join me in the journey.

God's detour

I wrote the following article for our church newsletter before my seizure and surgery. I'll leave it as is but in hindsight it definitely has some new dimensions. I continue to be intrigued by what God is doing. Check the family blog for more.

God’s Detour

I have been on some interesting detours but none like the one I am on currently. I came back from vacation in August all charged and geared up for some great new directions for our ministry at Southwood. I had done a lot of reading on vacation and was encouraged with some ideas that Southwood could incorporate to experience growth in some very healthy directions, making us a much more missional church.
On August 10, I preached my first message after vacation. It was great to be back in the pulpit. I felt full of energy and passion for our direction. On Tuesday, August 12, I began to have severe headaches, followed by regular tiredness. I began to notice that my cognitive awareness was somewhat fuzzy and I had at least two incidents where I lost my navigational bearings. A visit to the doctor and subsequent cat scan revealed a 2 inch mass pressing on the right side of my brain. My physician initially indicated that I was probably headed for surgical removal and that I should no longer drive. I think I am still absorbing the impact of this new news. It has been hard to think of how much responsibility this leaves on Dottie and the people at Southwood. It is not within my nature to be dependent. My life philosophy is to keep myself out of the way and serve others in order to make them successful. Therefore, I am intrigued with what God is doing. This is a time in my leadership at Southwood that I would think I am most needed to help us achieve what we should be doing. I am jazzed about my series in Philippians, “Real Life, Real Joy,” and am excited as I anticipate each Sunday’s message. So, what are you doing, God?”
I don’t believe God is angry at us for asking the “why” question especially when it is asking to seek greater discovery of His sovereign character. The Psalms are always a great place to go to see how others cried out to God. Psalm 13 is one of the most familiar to me in this area.
(Psalm 13 NIV) For the director of music. A psalm of David. How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? {2}
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? {3} Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; {4} my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. {5} But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. {6} I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.
Now, I certainly don’t feel like the Lord has forgotten me but I don’t know yet in what state I will be somewhere down this journey. I believe I am doing well now, but I haven’t yet had my skull opened up and been diagnosed with exactly what this mass is. But right now, I agree with the psalmist, I trust in His unfailing love.
I am intrigued that God had some detours for some others. Abraham thought that he and Sara were on their way to living out their life childless when God detoured them late in life and gave them a child in their old age. Abraham thought he had already taken care of this with Ishmael but God had another detour. Isaac was born and then when Isaac was a teenager, God told Abraham to take his son, his only son to a mountain where Isaac would be sacrificed. This was a huge detour with a very happy ending. Moses thought he was destined to spend the rest of his life in the wilderness when God came to him in a burning bush and detoured him back to Egypt to rescue his fellow Israelites. Out of Egypt they came on their way to the Promised Land until another detour. This detour lasted forty years. Job thought he was going to enjoy the rest of his life with great family times and celebrations with his children and grandchildren until God detoured him through a time of extreme suffering.
I have probably been heard to say, more than once, “God brought me into this world, He created my DNA, shaped my life and will determine when it is time for my heart to stop beating and come home to heaven. In between, He has the right to do whatever He chooses to do with my life.” It is easier to preach that than to live it. But the anchor point is our trust in the goodness and greatness of God.
Some have suggested the enemy’s involvement. He certainly does not want Southwood to get the gospel message out to our community and certainly doesn’t want you or me to be involved effectively in the process. But I am very clear that this is primarily and more importantly an issue of the sovereignty of God. I choose not to give the enemy any credit. He is under the sovereignty of God. What is happening is ultimately because of God’s sovereign choice and oversight. God is the one I choose to give my attention to for wisdom and guidance. And, again, the bottom line issue is, do I trust Him? The answer has to be a resounding yes!
So, whatever the reason is for this detour and whatever He has for me and for us as a church around the corner will be good because God is good. I trust Him to navigate the way. If I trust my GPS to do so, then God, who organized my world, will do far better. The destination and the new route will be the best. Thanks for joining me in praying for the new journey.