Emotions are a new area for me, especially since my brain tumor surgery. Some attribute this to having anesthesia before surgery. I still have suspicions that my daughters convinced the neurosurgeon to flip an emotional switch in my head. Regardless, I am enjoying exploring this area of emotional makeup in a new way.
I grew up in a fairly unemotional home. Neither my father nor mother exhibited open emotions toward us kids. However I did not doubt their love for any of us. In high school and college I had more than one experience of betrayal by close friends that I thought I could trust. As a result, I chose to restrain my emotional life. The navy gave me further opportunity to keep my emotions in check. When a submarine’s safety is at stake, the crew doesn’t need an officer falling apart emotionally. It is a time to keep calm, cool, and collected. One of my favorite programs is
NCIS. Leroy Jethro Gibbs is my kind of guy. I don’t approve of his moral character but I like the way he is blunt and to the point to get the job done. He is all business. Don’tworry, I don’t plan to emulate his life. I have someone with a much better handle on what it means to be a real man – Jesus.
I am still learning how emotions can play a balanced role in my life. I am sure I will never be someone who cries at the drop of a hat. But I do hope that I allow emotions to have a much more proper role in my life and relationships. So what am I learning? It seems to me that we too often go two routes: 1) either to suppress emotions or 2) allow emotions to rule. Gibbs (or “boss” as his team on NCIS call him), lost his wife and daughter in a horrible incident. He never talks about them but their impact on his life continues to resurface on occasion. This loss in his life was huge. He chooses to suppress. You can probably pick any number of programs or persons whose emotions dominate who they are and how they make decisions. Somewhere there must be a balance because one thing we can be confident of, God made us with emotions. Why? What is the purpose of God-given emotions? I will not pretend to have the final answer to that question. But what I do have is a perfect model of a perfect human being who exhibited genuine emotions. He is who I look to for a balanced view of emotions.
Jesus wept, exhibited compassion, agonized, expressed anger, loved, and connected emotionally and tenderly with all kinds of people. For those of us, “keep it under control” type of people, this is new territory. One of the gifts to me as I have been recovering here at home was the HBO series,
John Adams. I already had David McCullough’s book on John Adams and other historical works by him, so I knew him as an excellent writer and historian. The series is excellent. The extra features are as valuable as the actual historical story. I cried all through it. I cried over tragedy, family loss, historical moments, and especially at the end as President Adams lost family members and his dear Abigail. The loss of Abigail in his life was huge. I sobbed openly. The rekindling of his friendship with Thomas Jefferson brought tears. Emotions are good things, even if it takes great cinematography and acting to bring them out.
Obviously we have had some very emotional times as a family. My family’s expressions of love and concern have easily evoked tears. My thoughts about my church family and that momentous day on September 28 still bring significant emotional impact. Am I still afraid of emotions? I don’t think I have ever been afraid of emotions but now I am much more ready to let emotions be freely expressed. Don’t count on me weeping in the pulpit each Sunday, but I am intrigued with what new dimension this brings to all of my life. As I look at this new wrinkle in my journey, I have been refreshed at looking, in a new way, at Jesus’ expression of emotions.
At the death of Lazarus, Jesus is described as “deeply moved and troubled.” There is debate over the exact nature of these emotions. He could be deeply moved that death is a part of the curse of a fallen world. But he could also be connecting with the human emotional grief of this huge loss to people that He counts as close friends. Those present note His emotional expression as a sign of great love for this family. Emotions bring good connection with those facing tough times.
On a number of occasions, when looking over the gathered crowds, Jesus had compassion for them. Compassion is a very interesting word in the original. It means the inward parts or specifically, the intestines. I can just imagine the conversation between a young couple, “My intestines are being exercised because of you.” Somehow I don’t think this would go over well. But that is exactly what is being expressed by the word compassion. Interesting that in my reading of Dr.
Servan-Schreiber’s book, I came across a chapter on “The Anticancer Mind,” where he describes the intestines possessing several million neurons. First century citizens may not have understood this but their neurological signals let them know something was going on in their intestines. Compassion is a way of letting people know we genuinely care.
Jesus got angry over the injustice and economic abuse of His Jewish brethren by the religious leaders. He rebuked the disciples because they just didn’t understand absolute trust in the face of undeniable evidence. Jesus agonized in the Garden over the cup of suffering and separation from the Father. We shouldn’t be surprised then at the broad range of emotions that come our way. We shouldn’t be surprised that our fallen nature brings confusion and imbalance in our handling of emotions. But in spite of our imperfect response to emotiions, we should still learn to enjoy our emotions and learn to let the Spirit of God help us manage them in a biblical fashion.
Dr.
David Servan-Schreiber was called upon to intervene in the case of a young man Joe who had a long history of alcoholism and drug abuse. Joe had just received the diagnosis of his brain tumor. He was angry and violent. Dr. D spent time just listening to him and agreed to see him every week. Eventually, Joe regained a sense of purpose and ventured out to help a church with some of its electrical needs. He had a new sense of value and meaning. As he eventually ended up back in the hospital and was near death, Dr. D paid him a visit. In his weakness, Joe said, “God bless you for saving my life.” Amazing, isn’t it, how emotions can make a difference in someone’s life?
It would appear that the Apostle Paul has learned a healthy biblical balance to his emotions.
Philippians 1:7-8 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
Paul connected with the community at Philippi with his heart. His longing for them was shaped by the same affection that Jesus would have for them. Think of it. Jesus has affection for you. This affection is that medical concept of activating your intestional neurons. This is good stuff and it is God-given stuff. It is another part of the journey with which I find myself intrigued. How much more is there to learn? As much as there is infinite majesty in the greatness of God. Join me in the journey.
