A Gentle Answer

Do you have people close to you that you find irritating? Do they say things that provoke you to respond with curt, “leave-me-alone” type replies?

A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.(Proverbs 15:1)

How do you turn harsh responses into gentle ones?

It starts with commitment and desire. You recognize that a gentle answer is God’s way of handling relationships. Because you are in love with His ways, you are convicted and convinced that gentle answers are to be reflected in your speech. For anyone who has put their trust in Jesus Christ, His transforming power is resident within your life to conform you to God’s way of living.

I commend to you this extended passage from Romans 8

{1} Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, {2} because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. (Romans {2} {3} For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, {4} in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit. {5} Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. {6} The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; {7} the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. {8} Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. {9} You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. {10} But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. {11} And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you. {12} Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation--but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. {13} For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live (Romans 8:1-13 NIV)

This will be harder if you are not, on a daily basis, cultivating a heart that worships, loves, and wants to be all that God wants you to be. If your thoughts are mostly on defending your turf, getting things your way, justifying why you have the right to retaliate, then your thoughts which stir up emotions, which develop attitudes, and then lead to behaviors that will not conform to the will of God. (More about this on Monday)

The Apostle Paul’s words in Romans 8:1-13 describe the new reality for those who have put their trust in Christ. You really are a new person and His transforming power is available to you. Remember, faith is choosing to believe that God has reveled, in His Word, my truth and reality in spite of my feelings or circumstances. He really can transform your speech from harsh to gentle. Allow Him to do it and enjoy the results. Others, especially those close to you, will enjoy the new you.

Faith Assignment:
1. Begin each day by reviewing Proverbs 15:1 and Romans 8:1-13. Ask God to remind you that you are a new person in Christ and that His transforming power is available to you. Stick to these passages each day for at least a week. Pray Proverbs 15:1 back to God. Here is an example:

God, you have convicted me that my responses to those close to me are often harsh rather than gentle. I want to respond with gentleness because I know that would honor you and please you. My deepest desire is to please you above all else. I need your help to monitor my thoughts and words. When I am about to respond in harshness, let me know. When I have responded in harshness, help me to understand what I was thinking. Do you perfect work in my life to conform me to your divine character. I welcome the journey and the life transforming experience. Remind me that you are present in every situation and that your internal, life transforming work is always available.

2. Memorize the definition of faith: Faith is choosing to believe that God has reveled, in His Word, my truth and reality in spite of my feelings or circumstances.
3. In prayer, ask God to alert you to those moments when you want to justify harsh responses.
4. When you have responded harshly, what were you thinking? Take time to monitor and manage your thoughts. You do not have to allow your thoughts to run wild. They are your thoughts to manage. This will take time and practice. But the results are wonderful for you and those who are close to you. But the greatest result is the tremendous sense of pleasure in pleasing God.
5. When you respond harshly, ask those who are close to you, to forgive you, to help you, and to pray for you.
6. Stay at it each day. Transforming habits takes time, but God is faithful to do His work in you. 7.Allow Him to accomplish His divine transforming work.

I join you in this life transforming experience.

(2 Corinthians 5:9) So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.